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All the remaining Klingons have aggroed on us by now.
“Tarsi? Tell me our warp drive is back online.”
“I’m sorry, Mel.” “Then I’m sorry, too. We’re going to cover their retreat. Give the rest of the task force a chance to get out of here.”
“Because we’re not getting out of here.”
“Get the task force out of here, Garrett. Starfleet needs to know that the Klingons are using cloaks on a fleet scale. Don’t let them walk into another trap like this one.”
“Fuck yourself sideways, Kor. Bring us around, Tarsi. We’re running the Patti Smith right down their fucking throats.”aka @acousticrob#2239
“Dun dun duuuuuun…!
😀
“Where am I?”
“Am I in…Heaven?”
“You’re no angel, Daniels, so I assume I’m not actually dead.”
“I never was much good at history.”aka @acousticrob#2239
“And I don’t suppose I have a chance to decline this generous offer, do I? Not unless I want to end up back on the Patti Smith as it goes Boom.”
“Oh you do, do you?”
Why do I get the feeling that Daniels was also yanked off the bridge of an exploding starship in some distant timeline? Or maybe he just likes being enigmatic.
aka @acousticrob#2239
Some time later, we beam aboard…
Uh, where are you, exactly?
“Earth Starbase. The year is 2410.”You blew up in 2270. That makes you something like 165 years old, right?
“Shut up. That guy up there has a green tickbox over his head, let’s see what he has to say to us.”
“Yeah. Our…uh. Historic…wargame…exercise. Ran a little long. I’ll go ahead and get changed before I meet with the admiral. No worries, I know my way around Stardock.”
“I guess the tailor is around the corner here?”
“This looks like a new part of the station. I don’t really…recognize….”aka @acousticrob#2239
“…”Mel?
“Holy FUCK.”
“Look at it! This place is fucking HUGE.”
“Hey! Hey, you!”
“When–I mean, what–I mean…I mean….”
“Do I know you, Lieutenant?”Smooth, Mel. Reeeeal smooth.
aka @acousticrob#2239
“Eat a bag of dicks, Rob. And it’s Lieutenant Commander now, asshat!”
“Ah, fuck it. Let’s get a new uniform and then check in with the admiral.”
“Hey, you the tailor? I need a new suit.”
“This isn’t a replica, assh–no, never mind. Give me a standard Command uniform. With pants.”
“Well. It’s, um. It’s very…when did Command start wearing red, anyway?”Some time before the 2360s is the best I can figure out. Anyway, the admiral’s waiting.
“Yeah, yeah, wouldn’t want to keep the fucking admiral fucking waiting, would we?”aka @acousticrob#2239
“Does this uniform make my hips look fat?”I’m not touching that question with a ten-foot pole, Mel.
“Huh. Our guideline doesn’t go to the admiral. It ends at this doofus here.”
“Uh. Hi.”
“Yeah yeah. Don’t interfere, stick it in your ear. I’m gonna talk to the admiral now.”
“Nice office. Lieutenant Commander Sand–Sandra Mel reporting for duty, sir.”aka @acousticrob#2239
“He’s got spots.”That’s because he’s a Trill. Not sure if he’s joined or not, the source material’s not too clear on that.
“Joined? Joined what?”Never mind, I’ll explain later. Why don’t you go pick up your new ride?
“Yes, Sir.”
“OK, looks like the shipyard is down here.”
“Hey. You. You the one who hands out starships?”
“Gee, thanks. Why don’t you show me what you got.”aka @acousticrob#2239
“Fuck me, Sulu was right. I will get to fly one of these….”
“Oh? You know the Captain?” “The Captain?” “Akira Sulu. He runs day-to-day operations here on Stardock?” “So not Hikaru Sulu?” “Of course not! That was the Captain’s grandfather? Or maybe his great-grandfather? I think he died in–” “You know what? Never mind. I’ll take a Constitution-class cruiser if you have one available.”
“Let’s see…there’s the U.S.S. Kilburn. Her Captain was recently promoted and her XO took an administrative position at Starfleet Academy, so there’s an opening there.”aka @acousticrob#2239
“Looks like a good ship. But the Kilburn? I don’t think so.”
“She’s the Debbie Harry now.” “The who?” “Nah, that’s Roger Daltry’s band. Thanks, Commander, gotta go, I think Quinn’s waiting for me.”
“Don’t leave him haaaaanging on the teeeeeelephone. Haaaanging on the teeeeeelephone!“
“Mother of God, that’s a big ship. Right, the admiral.”aka @acousticrob#2239
They’re sending you. On a diplomatic mission.
“Shut up. I can be diplomatic when I want to be.”
“Sounds like an easy shakedown run for the Debbie Harry, sir. As soon as she’s checked out and ready to go, we’ll be on our way.”aka @acousticrob#2239
Later….
“Captain’s log. Stardate…I dont’ even know any more.”
“It’s a hundred and fifty years in the future. I have a new life. And I have no fucking idea what to do with it.”
“Tarsi didn’t make it off the Patti Smith. Neither did Skavrin. T’Met got beamed off in time, but she resigned her commission and took a research position on Vulcan. Apparently they’re interested in her treatment for those neural parasites we fought back on K-13.”
“It’s a big universe, and I’m fucking alone in it. Lucky me.”
“End recording. Helm, set in a course for Vulcan, warp factor…”
“…wait a minute.”aka @acousticrob#2239
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