Comedic Timing

So, I was mindlessly mining dilithium and felt like I got a perfect opportunity.  Looking for feedback on my timing and comedic value.

Messiah@arrakissun: you got the whole field noob you jujst got to ocme near me punk\ (no idea what this was even about.)

Novellus Caine@Novellus: I know what you’re thinking.  Did he fire six antiproton phaser banks or only five?  Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kinda lost track myself.  But being this is a Mark XIV elite antiproton phaser bank, the most powerful phaser bank in the galaxy and would blow your bridge clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?”  Well, do ya, punk?

Keep day job?  Yes or no…